I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
