I want to stick my p in your. b.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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