This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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