That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
