i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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