Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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