You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
