If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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