Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize