i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize