he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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