I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
