mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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