You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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