Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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