so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me