she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???