marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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