Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
