My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
where am i from again
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
