Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
