He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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