You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
