I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
