not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
