Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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