Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
