i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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