Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
