Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
