Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
