Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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