We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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