I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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