if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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