I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
