We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
