Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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