I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
