so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize