I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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