yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
