thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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