I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
