okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
we're so committed to being not committed
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize