I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
