we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
