Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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