I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize