Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
