Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no, he came in my armpit
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
