I think I just saw someone hide a body.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
