I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
