just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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