her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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