I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
