so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
