You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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